Whistler

This one was so much appreciated it got posted to the front page. hope you like metal

Come to Malenest! (metal lyre)

Whistler grips his lyre fiercely in his left hand, glares at it, and blows on the fingers of his right.

Whistler ‘s right hand lunges to the lyre strings! In a blur of motion he plays:
Chunga-chunga chunga-Chunga Chunga-Chunga Chunga-CHUNG
Chunga-chunga chunga-Chunga Chunga-Chunga Chunga-CHUNG
Twang! Deedleleedleleedleleedleleedle Twang-Wahhh . . .
Chunga-chunga chunga-Chunga Chunga-Chunga Chunga-TWANG!

Whistler ‘s closes his eyes and screams in a gravelly voice:
The Orcs erupted from the ground out from the Vile Rune!
Spreading death and chaos-all they met saw their doom!
Those creatures poured out from the ground- none could stand against!
Till martial elves from all the realm would come to their defense!

The bards lightning fingers strain the lyre to it’s capacity:
Chunga-chunga chunga-Chunga Chunga-Chunga Chunga-CHUNG
Chunga-chunga chunga-Chunga Chunga-Chunga Chunga-CHUNG

Whistler ‘s gaze scans the room as he screams:
Malenest! Malenest! Come to Malenest!
What elves seek martial fighting, must heed unto our call!
Malenest! Malenest! Come to Malenest!
When elves drop from their treetops, the Vile Rune must fall!

Whistler ‘s voice falls to match the staccato rhythm of the lyre as he shouts:
Guard well your equipment!
Thieves there obfuscate!
Ready battle-bread and potions!
Combat the reprobate!
Finally the time has come
at last, unsheathe your sword!
For Blood, and Battle to the Death!
You go to WAR!

Whistler takes a deep breath while he reemphasizes the heavy rhythm on his lyre:
Chunga-chunga chunga-Chunga Chunga-Chunga Chunga-CHUNG
Chunga-chunga chunga-Chunga Chunga-Chunga Chunga-CHUNG

Whistler glares at you as he shouts:
This is no place for children!
Leave your spouse at home!
Bring your compatriots!
Let your blade bite to bone!
Finally the time has come
at last, unsheathe your sword!
To cover you in Glory
and cover you in Gore!

Whistler focuses his glare back to his lyre, which strains under his wailing hand:
Chunga-chunga chunga-Chunga Chunga-Chunga Chunga-CHUNG
Chunga-chunga chunga-Chunga Chunga-Chunga Chunga-CHUNG

Whistler stares deep in your eyes as he screams:
Malenest! Malenest! Come to Malenest!
What elves seek martial fighting, must heed unto our call!
Malenest! Malenest! Come to Malenest!
When elves drop from their treetops, the Vile Rune must fall!

Whistler sneers as he looks out over the audience, chanting:
Not Humans, Halflings nor the Dwarves-
Will find a welcome here!
Unwelcome those cower in
The shadows and in fear!
No Giants, Gnomes or Ogres
They need not apply!
Unless it will be on our swords
They-come-to-die!
We go to WAR!
We go to WAR!

Sweat beads on the small bard’s forehead as his frenzied fingers pluck at the lyre:
Deedle-adeedle-adeet-Twang!
Deedle-adeedle-adeet-Twang!
Deedle-adeedle-adeet-Twang!
Deedle-adeedle-adeet-Twang!

Whistler ‘s full attention on his instrument, he reemphasizes the rhythm behind the melody:
.chungchung Chungchung ChungChung CHungCHung CHUNG
Deedle-adeedle-adeet-Twang!
Deedle-adeedle-adeet-Twang!

With his eyes closed and his face twisted in rage, Whistler screams:
Malenest! Malenest! Come to Malenest!
What elves seek martial fighting, must heed unto our call!
Malenest! Malenest! Come to Malenest!
When elves drop from their treetops, the Vile Rune must fall!
Whistler ‘s voice echoes off the walls at his scream:
Unsheathe your sword!
For Glory and Gore!
Unsheathe your sword!
Blood! Death! WAR!

Whistler strum-plucks the final notes of his song:
CHUNG-TWANG!
Whistler gasps for breath and wipes the sweat from his brow.
Whistler bows